I'm having a beautiful day, productive, meaningful and good in every way... then thoughts appear... "If I don't go to Will Kabat Zinn's meditation group I will miss something important." I'm experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out).
I see images of the past where the Will said such wise, profound, deep things that helped me release an issue I was having or gave me greater clarity on something I was confused about. I see images of possible like minded people I could connect with, maybe make some new friends and maybe even meet my future boyfriend.
I have thoughts that I need to be around a deep practitioner like Will, that I need to be around a genuinely good man so I can know what a good guy is, how he treats others, how he thinks and how he shows up in the world. I'm usually impressed and moved deeply by his teachings and how he embodies the practice.
I have other thoughts that my life depends on connecting with others, I have to put myself out there in the world and build relationships or I will die. I hear people talk of "networking" and being a "team player".
I imagine everyone is out there having these deep, profound bonding experiences like their pictures on facebook suggest. I see "them" traveling the world, broadening their horizons. Dating "they" say is a numbers game. You just have to meet lots of people and if I don't get out of the house, if I don't put effort into meeting new people, I will be alone -- forever!
But often I just want to be alone. Today I am loving it. Plus, I am taking care of this sweet, amazing blind dog who would love nothing more than for me to be with him and take him for a walk in the beautiful hiking trails just outside the door.
So for now, I will embrace the Joy of Missing Out. I will miss out on Will's meditation group but will enjoy having a lovely evening alone, in this beautiful place with this sweet dog.
Would it be nice to share it with someone else... maybe... but for now, I'm happy to be alone, with Cole.
Cole seems happy too.