Oh no Valentine's day! For many people, including me, this day has come with great suffering. High expectations that are often dashed. Disappointing gifts, gestures, calls, texts and/or lack there of. All the ways we evaluate our worth and come up short... he loves me, he loves me not!
For much of my life, this day has been painful or disappointing in all kinds of ways. I've placed my value in the hands of men who were too reckless or oblivious to care. I longed for someone who would make me feel special, desirable, worthy, interesting and amazing about myself. I also wanted this perfect man to provide me with passion, purpose fun, excitement, adventure as well as stability, safety, security and comfort.
I still want all that but thankfully, I am better able to see how impossible and demanding it is. I am more in a place where my life and happiness do not come from one person, even I am not entirely responsible for my happiness.
It feels much kinder, lighter and freer to know that all I need to do is tap into the feeling of love or even simpler than that, a feeling of curiosity. From this place, I'm not looking for love, I am open. I am no longer trying to get from others, I am noticing what is already here, now. All that matters, am I feeling loving, kind, curious and interested now?
So wherever you are on this Valentine's day, I'll tell you what I'll be doing and if it sounds good to you, you can do it too. I'll be on a treasure hunt... considering what sounds good, compelling, what might be curious or interesting to discover throughout the day. Maybe a special date, even if just a short one alone whether you have a partner or not. Thinking of what would be loving to right now for myself or another? "You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." ~Mary Oliver.
To notice the many acts of kindness extended from myself and others at all times. What you appreciate appreciates, so this is what I'll be doing.
A Course In Miracles say's "Let no act of charity, no tiny expression of forgiveness, no little breath of love escape your notice." This Valentine's I'm happy to say, I feel gratitude, excitement and curiosity to consider the day a treasure hunt of opportunities to notice love in all it's forms and to extend love to the best of my ability.
And with that, I wish you a very happy Valentine's Day!