Small, consistent efforts lead to big changes. Lately I'm seeing the importance of breaking down huge, vague, intentions into small, manageable, specific actions.
I am very clear that limiting beliefs keep me from living a fuller, happier more connected life. I scare myself into non-action. I tell myself it's too hard, I can't do it, I'm not ready, I'm not good enough. These thoughts keep me from trying, they keep me in a safe comfort zone where I don't have to risk failure and rejection. They keep me in the I know mind. I know the outcome. I know where this is going. I know I can't do it... no one cares, people are bad, exploitive and hurtful. I have continuously reinforced and proven thoughts that keep me fearful, miserable and disconnected. How I'm working on that...
The mind! The most powerful two things I know in freeing the mind are meditation and The Work of Byron Katie. These are daily, mandatory practices for me. Other things that have helped are therapy (huge!), mentors, workshops, retreats, 12 step programs, books, talks and being in the presence of inspiring people. I am a tough case and need a lot of help!
Another area where daily work is essential, is the body. A healthy body supports a healthy mind and vice versa. Though I'd much rather have a healthy mind and prefer being in the presence of people with healthy minds over healthy bodies any day! When I exercise, meditate, dance, express and receive affection, eat healthy and tend to my body in consistent and loving ways, I feel happier, lighter and more energetic. Endorphins give me a natural high and I retrain my nervous system to be in a state of rest and digest, tend and befriend rather than fight or flight. My body learns to feel safe, at ease, connected, light and energetic when I treat it well.
In order to take good care of my mental and physical health, steady income and a healthy work life is also important. Doing work I love, being paid well, feeling valued, appreciated and respected by people I work with makes life especially meaningful. I want to contribute, bring my best effort, learn and grow through service and feel like I am making a difference. Supporting myself and others I care about and contributing to things I value are very important to me. Fear, deprivation and shame around money has been my conditioning. Moving from thoughts of scarcity and worthlessness to seeing the abundance, generosity and support that is everywhere in every moment is a huge shift for me.
The final area of consistent attention and action is devoted to my love life. This is one area I have failed repeatedly at. Looking at all the ways I attract what I think I'm worth, all the ways I devalue myself and how the world has reflected that back to me. My conditioning and beliefs around relationships and men have been very painful. I always thought I just didn't deserve being liked or cared for. I had to earn people's approval. This is something I still struggle with.
In most relationships, I have shown up expecting to sacrifice and prove myself for love and approval or expecting to be taken care of so I can be happy. I am learning to let go of the dream that some heroic man will rescue me from the big, bad, scary world and that he will love, value and respect me so that I wont have to.
As with everything else, my love life comes back to working with the mind and the stressful thoughts that I am not good enough. Believing I have inherent value without doing, proving or manipulating people to like me has not been easy. I attract what I think I'm worth and often I've attracted people who reject me as I have rejected myself. Men who don't want the job that I'm trying to evade. The job of loving me.
So this is my work... Mind, body, work-finances and love life. Everything starts with the mind. Right now, I notice where I am and what small, consistent things I can do in each area, every day to overcome limiting beliefs that keep me playing small, separate and fearful. Living a life with greater connection, purpose, courage and love is my intention. I've got a lot of work to do! And yet, another part of me knows there is nothing to do... just relax, enjoy and notice what is going well. Energy flows where attention goes. As I put kind attention on everything in my world, my world becomes a kinder place.
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